DRIVE ME UP THE WALL…😡

Sep 24

3 min read

Why Is Driving So Different Today,

Like Impatient Drivers When You Get In Their Way.

Driving So Close…To You As They Can,

Not Really Bothered If They Have A Prank.

Driving Has Changed Since I Took My Test,

Up and Down These Roads In The South West.

So Why Don’t You Sit Back And Come With Me,

As I Take You On A Car Journey.

ROUNDABOUTS…

Round and Round Around They Go,

When Will They Indicate Nobody Knows.

Is It Exit Number One Or Could It Be Number Two,

Place Your Bets On This Roulette Wheel,

And Win Some Money For You…(Pause Pause)

It’s Number Three Exit No Indicating Either,

Cannot Be Bothered To Flick A Switch,

From This Lazy Driver.

TRAFFIC LIGHTS…

There Is Driver Now In Front Of You,

Traffic Lights Red All Cars In A Queue.

Changing To Amber Then Onto Green,

Which Clearly This Driver Has Not Seen.

Head Down At The Wheel and Not Looking Up,

Probably Playing With Their Mobile Phone (SHOCK!!!).

What Is This Driver Doing,

Can’t They Hear The Car Horns Call,

Then The Lights Turn Red Again,

Like Their Face And Feeling A Fool.

ZEBRA CROSSINGS…

Pedestrians Walking Left and Right,

A ZEBRA CROSSING Comes Into Sight.

Read Their Minds What Will They Do,

As One Car Passes More Follow Through.

People Just Cross This Black and White Road,

Have They Ever Heard Of The Green Cross Code.

Stop, Look, Listen And Think,

Let The Car Stop First Don’t Rely On Instinct.

KERB…YOUR SPEED…

Speed Signs Up and Down These Roads,

How Fast These Cars Go…They Should Know.

Exhausts Sounding Like A Wet Fart,

Wanting To Be Noticed Before They Even Start.

Music Up Loud Spouting Lots Of Crap,

The ‘L’ Plates Are Off and Ready For A Lap.

Like A Scene From Fast and Furious,

Thinking They Can Drive,

It’s Like A Game Of Russian Roulette To Them,

Playing With People’s Lives.

Now This Journey Is Nearing The End,

And I Hope That I Haven’t…Drove You Round The Bend.

I’m Now At These Crossroads Wandering What To Do,

Shall I Change Gear and Continue?

PARKING&REVERSING…

Attempt Number 1…

Parking and Reversing In One Go,

Need To Check Your Mirrors Then Take It Slow.

Trying To Park Their Precious Car,

Whoops A Daisy Now They’ve Gone Too Far.

Attempt Number 2…

Moving Forward From Where They Came,

As They Now Get Ready To Start Again,

Checking The Mirrors Making Sure It’s Clear,

Checking The Car That Is Parked At The Rear.

Steering The Wheel and Taking It Slow,

To Much Angle OH NO!!! Just One Word,

They’ve Hit The Kerb.

Attempt Number 3…

Driving Forward From The Kerb,

This Final Attempt Which Will Be Their Third.

The Car Now Ready To Move Again,

Reversing Backwards From Where They Came.

Mirrors Checked and Steering Slow,

There In The Gap…Here You Go.

Car At The Rear Getting Ever Near,

Car In The Front Now Looking Clear.

Moving Forward Wheels In Line,

And Yes There In…About Bloody Time.

How Many People Cannot Park A Car,

Especially Reversing When They Go Too Far.

Take Your Time And Let Other Cars Wait,

I Bet They’ve Tried Parking And Made A Mistake.

“You Have Reached Your Destination”

The Car Sat-Nav Speaks,

As We Park Up (A First Attempt)…In London Exon Street.

A Journey Now That’s Come To An End,

A Journey That’s Driven Us Around The Bend.

Where Drivers Think They Are So Cool,

Drivers That Drive Me Up The Wall.

From ‘L’s To ‘P’s And Elderly’s,

Have Some Respect And Drive Carefully.

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